Thursday, May 26, 2011

梦到底是怎样造成的呢??
那天跟kelvin谈起关于梦的话题,原来他的梦也跟我一样会在现实中发生叻。。
梦究竟会不会成真的啊??
我啊!
那天晚上又发梦到半夜跳起来了
很久都没有这样了。。。。
又梦见他了。。。。
梦见他sms我。。。
短讯的内容我想不会成真了。。。
那个梦真的很真了,我真的感觉到电话振动then就跳起来了。。
电话振动是确实的啦,可是发信人并不是他。。。><
傻啦我!他怎么可能会sms我哦?

他也做了一个梦叻。。
竟然梦见他自己死掉=.=
如果是这样,我才不想梦会发生在现实生活咯
我不要他死早过我。。
就当我自私咯。。
我不想为他流这么多的泪。。。。。

放心吧!!
我会默默地为你祈祷。。
你不会有事的!!!
好好照顾自己。。。。。






Sunday, May 22, 2011

LOVE

爱情就像夜晚美丽的夜空
有时感觉很舒服很梦幻;有时觉得看起来却觉得有一点凄凉。。。


爱情就像树胶圈
太努力拉会让它变质;太小力气又会起不了作用。。。


爱情就如一堆沙
握得越紧流失越多;握得太松也会自然流失去。。。


爱情就如气球般 
一天一天地在泄气;充气又会让它往辽阔的天空飞去。。。



收不起的思念

我拿出笔记本想温习功课时,
突然他爸爸给我的新年红包掉了出来,
里面的钱也还没拿出来,
我一直留着不想用,
今年的这封红包不是他爸爸亲自交给我的,
是他转交给我的,
其实我并不知道那一封红包是不是他自己偷偷包给我的。。。

因为我一直吵着要拿他父母的红包,
又找不到适合的时间去拜访他家,
所以他偷偷自己包给我???

我知道他以为我要跟他父母拿红包是为了要让自己红包钱多一点。。
可是是这样吗???
坦白说那几十块钱对我来说真的不算什么。。
我一直坚持要到他家拿红包的原因是我想让他父母认识我多一点,就那么一点。。。。




突然想起我上过的一堂心理学课,
原来要懂得爱情不一定要上“爱情教导班”,
有时候听听长辈们一路走来的经验,
也可以获益不浅。。。

教授的一句话让我从梦中惊醒了
如果你真爱着一个人,
你有意与他/她共度今生
你会在意他/她一时不陪你吗?
你要记得你们还有很长的路要一起走下去
那一场电影或一餐晚饭的时间算得了什么???
两个人相爱的目标是一辈子的相扶相持,不是一阵子的快乐。。。。。



our LOVE fade

爱的天空


就因我的不成熟与任性让我失去了爱你的机会 
也许当时我只是深深地喜欢着你,而不是深深地爱着你
爱一个人是心甘情愿地为他付出或牺牲
而这牺牲并不表示为了他死,而是为了他开心做什么都行!!!


就是为了你开心做什么都行
所以我不再找你
不再烦你
因为我爱你

为什么人都要在失去后才懂得怎样去爱???

Saturday, May 21, 2011

our memories

x'mas eve



2010 new year


my birthday~~2010

funny rite??^^


snap by me due too bored^^

miss his smile a lot :(

dunno why he hate this pic so much..

his 16th's bday~~

when we are young~~lol

he love my pig face><

oops....long long time ago..

taken by him at 黑店after we went pay fong

<3

><




his shirt!!!his smell!!
I m damn fucking EMO these days
Crying for him everyday again
Our memories flash back in my mind almost every second

Yesterday I went SS15 with JX &CHEW LIN
Guess what??
I m the one who suggest to go there
After so long only I dare to step in SS15 
I make myself cool and calm when I step in SS15

Both of them are quite happy
This is the second times they come to SS15
We had our dinner at Face to Face
While we taking our dinner
We start to talk about our relationship problems again
Jx said that she feel very tired in holding her relationship anymore because he dun care her as much as last time already
Chew Lin and me advise her to think twice before take any action
I dowan she feel woeful like me

Jx told me she read Kc's blog which wrote about me
She ask me a question which make me almost cry out there
[做么他懂你这么爱他又不要跟你复合??]
I answer her that he is that kind of people which wont change his mind after he make a decision
But Chew Lin doubt my answer
[If he is that kind of people,why he promised u that he wont leave u because of his mum?And now he use that as a reason to leave u??]
I really dunno what to answer Chew Lin
I feel like crying man but I tahan and continue my dinner
There is tears in my eyes and Jx saw it.......

After that we walk walk around SS15 
I became like a tour guide><
In my mind was thinking What if he suddenly appear in front of me??
My heart beats increasing again.....

Our memories....
We had lots of memories
Especially at SS15
Thats why I dun dare to step in there anymore after we break up
It remind me of how many stupid things I have done there....
How many sweet times we had there....


我的家人


从小我就觉得家人对我来说很重要
我很爱他们
还记得我小的时候爸爸是一位罗里司机,
时常都需要运送货物到不同的洲,
而却每次都是半夜运送的
虽然当时我还很小,可是我就很担心爸爸在highway会出事,所以每一次如果等不到爸爸回家我都会在床上默默地哭。。
心想:[难到爸爸出事了吗?]
也许每一晚的等待造成我现在变成“半夜鬼”了!!顶着黑眼圈示人。。。
也许我夜习惯了等待。。

当我开始懂事时,我等待的人已经不是爸爸了。。。
那时,大哥跟二哥都在外地工作

我每一天都等三哥回家。。
三哥从小就爱欺负我,我每次都跟人家说我很讨厌他
可是心里呢??我还是很关心他的
他差不多每天都会喝酒过后才回家的
我不知道原因是什么
也没有多问
只是心真的不好受。。。
大哥跟二哥是出了事才不能留在马六甲的
而三哥虽然留在家可是又好像很多烦恼的
我怎样会好受呢?

还记得有一次,我在三哥的床上等他回家等到睡着了
他回来的时候,发现我竟然睡到用充电器的wire绑着自己
简直把他吓傻了
他又不想吵醒我,就一直帮我解开
可是过后还是把我惊醒了
现在想回都觉得好笑。。

妈妈最辛苦了
她的孩子们虽然都很孝顺
可是也都很难搞
抽烟,酗酒,打架。。。。
让她心痛不已,时常看到她伤心流泪。。。。

如今,
这一切都成为历史了,
大哥跟三哥都有了自己的家庭,
为我们家加入了新成员。。
二哥最近也有新女友了。。。


我想
爸爸妈妈是时候享福了
不用再这么担心我们了
就算我们有什么事情发生
也应该自己负责了
而我最想看到的是我三个哥哥都和睦相处
不要每天不爽对方
怎样都是一家人
没得选的。。。。。。。










Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Rainy day

下雨天了怎么办?我好想你~~不敢打给你,我找不到原因。。。。。

Why these days keep raining geh??making me emo +++  leh
Die lo die lo..u noe what??My final exam is on next week...OMG
How good if I can study at his place now....
Study till tired that time can hug hug him leh
I really feel like sms him or call him sometimes,especially after I took alcohol
BUT I CANT
I dunno what should I say to him and I dun think he will pick up my call also..
If I call him and ask
[Hello....how are you recently?]
Will it be too LAME???errrr...yes I guess...><
I told my Ex-roomate about about this matter
U guys noe what she going to do????
This girl a...she said she gonna change his name to her number
So when I call him that time the person who answer my call will be her...=.=
I was okay then...I promise I wont call him la
I m not going to disturb his life anymore
What I can do now is 忍,忍,忍
Is painful but I got no choice..right???
So so so sad....
But seriously I wont love anyone else anymore...
He already occupied my heart..there is no other place for anyone else.....
AISHITERU<3

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Road Not Taken

Dunno why I suddenly think of this poem
I feel this poem is very suitable to describe my feelings now
The road not TAKEN
I think most of us sure remember this poem..
We studied and try to understand this poem for several times to score in our English paper
But I think now I really can understand what is it all about.....

In our lives,we need to make a lot of decisions regarding of many things
Such as
 our studies , our profession, our love and so on....
But I find that the thought of  human beings are very strange sometimes
After they made a decision
Somehow or rather they will start to regret one day
No matter what road they had chosen at first
Most of them will regret and think back
[why dun I choose another road last time??If I choose that road I will bla bla bla...]


However,
How sure are they will be success with flying colours if they choose another road???
Dun u think is very contradicting ???
I used to regret at a lot of stuffs that I have done
And I always wish that I could rewind the time so that I can do better...
The same question appears ....
How sure am I can do better ????
I could not even answer myself...

Futhermore,
The decision is not make by me..
I cant do anything at all...

Alright,
This is the road that he choose and I have to accept it.
And what I am sure for now is he will not regret
I think I should  be proud of it
Because I owned a decisive guy before???

Oh well,
I still miss him anyway....
Hope he is happy all the times with his friends and his family.............


WHAT A DAY???!!!


16 MAY 2011



现在到底是什么心情啊???!!!!
我很烦很烦很烦。。。。。
心情上一下下一下的,很辛苦啊。。。
有谁可以帮一帮我啊?????

我连要怎样形容我的心情我都不知道咯!一个字“悲”

今天posting回来真的很累一下的咯
可是hor,明天是public holiday叻,不管怎样都要去玩玩放松放松一下
讲是讲要出去玩啦,可是我们sunway student hor,走来走去嘛不是sunway pyramid咯,差不多每天都去报到咯
xixi

我们七个女人一起去看fast&furious叻
其实有其中两个是被逼的啦,他们比较喜欢看爱情片的(我这太后就偏偏不给你们看)LOL
WALAO
这套戏好像很多人看一下的咯,我们买票的时候只剩前面两排罢了叻,可是我们还是坚持要看。。。
买了票过后还有一点点时间我们几个颠婆就到处走走咯
走到一间精品店的时候我就跟JX说这间店的卡片都很美的
JX突然大叫起来说:

RUBY啊!我跟你讲HOR,我们那天寄的母亲节卡片要六毛的STAMP,我们只是用三毛的罢了。。。。。

WWWHATTT TTTHHEEE  TTTUUUUTTTTT

晴天霹雳!!!!
就是讲我寄给他妈妈的卡他妈妈并不会收到咯???我只想寄一分心意过去吧了也不行
仿佛天在叫我死了那条心吧
全部事都成定居了,改变不了什么的
就算现在我与他妈妈的关系打好了,我们也回不到过去了


我顿时就觉得很难过,很难过
为什么天一直要我放弃??
如果可以,为什么不要好好经营???
我真的无法找到答案。。。。


就这样,我带着有点沉重的心情进戏院,我也习惯性地拿了两支吸水管。。。
哇!!哇!!!哇!!!
这套戏真的没让大家失望。。。
我看到很开心,很兴奋,超级爽的!!!
里面有好几个botak帅哥叻
turn on man............LOL
那个臭JX竟然在这个时候刺激我
她说:你酱喜欢BOTAK怪不得KC去剪BOTAK啦
CHEH
他怎样跟他们比哦?
他们身材好,又有型,声音超性感的叻。。。XIXI
看到我SIBEH兴奋咯!


看完戏过后本来要去mamak的,那里懂下雨worrr
算了咯,我们回rock cafe喝茶
那里懂horrr
又收档了worrr,本太后还没吃dinner的叻><
Tapi horrrr....nvr mind lo
本太后sibeh兴奋,不介意不介意
有chew lin姐姐请我吃cheese面包,算不错一下啦^^












Jx洗了衣服就跑过来我们家,本来horr,chew lin姐姐要玩cho dai ti的,可是买不到牌叻。。。sad case
没关系啊!我们来聊心,jx一直跟stanley吵架叻
jx讲发现stanley也是有写blog的习惯的
可是她华语不是那么好无法完全了解他写的东西
所以我这个kepo的ruby太后就自告奋勇要打开电脑帮她读一读咯
其实我也很抗拒要打开电脑的
我知道我一定会去读他的blog,fb了解了解一下他的近况
可是啊我想想我现在开心的很叻,应该不会受影响的吧


就这样咯!
我就搬电脑出来了咯!
一开始真的看stanley的blog咯!
也分析给她听了咯!
NOE WHAT I DO NEXT????
看他的BLOG咯!!
HAIZZZZ
犯溅咯。。。。。。。。

不看还真的没事的咯
看着看着horrr,眼泪就一直流,一直流,好像不用钱的将咯
我很久很久都没有哭到这么惨了。。
为什么?为什么?非要搞到这种地步呢??
就是因为他的错吗??是他的错吗?
我突然失去了方向,连我在想什么我也不知道。。

是的!!!
幸福万岁!!!
是我为他写的。。。
不是随随便便写出来的。。。
是我花了几个通宵写出来的。。。
我不知道他有没有为那篇文章感动过
可是我想至少他都会感觉那一丝丝爱意吧???

我真的哭了很久很久
过后半夜一点多fiona打给我说要过来带我去吃东西
我收拾了心情就下楼去了
那里懂那个很狗样的guard不给我出去叻
明天明明就是public holiday
还找一个ISA POLICE来吓我咯
神经病!!!
认为我会怕pOLICE咩?????
我家跟POLICE STATION同一排的叻
傻的!!!
我很不客气地跟他们骂架咯
bully人的!!!
气死我了,吵这么久不给我出去
还三个男的围我一个!!!dulannnnnnnn


觉得自己很可怜叻
我除了用哭来发泄,我还能做些什么啊????

HAPPY MOTHER DAY

8MAY 2011


母亲节就快降临的那几天
我一直有一个问题在烦恼着
我并不是为自己的母亲而烦,因为我已经知道要买什么给我母亲了~~
相反的
我为了他母亲而懊恼着
这个他已经不是我的谁了,可是我该不该再送母亲节礼物给他妈妈呢??
大家一定不知道我为什么懊恼吧?
朋友也说我们都已经没关系了,如果我再送礼物给她的话,他妈妈肯定会觉得我是个不要脸的女人。。。。
可是我不在意这些啊!!
也许我就是脸皮比较厚吧!
我在意的是那一分心意。。。。。
我个人觉得啊,要是你某某节日送过某某长辈礼物,那就不能中断了,那对我而言是一种基本的礼貌,而我在去年母亲节送了一只手表给他妈妈啊!(当时我妈妈还很吃醋呢!)
我想了很多天,最后我决定寄一张卡片给她就行了。。。。。。


于是,我找了JX陪我到POPULAR去买卡片,她也有样学样,打算买一张卡片送给她男友的妈妈。。
我们左挑右挑,终于找到合自己心水的卡片了。。
结账的时候,我们两个都傻眼了。。。
什么???!!!
我选的那张RM13.80。。
而JX选的只是RM3.50。。。
奇怪的咯!!
我自讽自己眼光"好“。。。哈哈
我跟JX说没关系啦,天注定要我对她好一点。。。XIXI
JX说啊
[他都没有送过你妈妈礼物啦!做么你要送他妈妈?]
哈哈哈!好问题啊!!
我也答不到咯!

卡片买了是买了,可是内容要写些什么呢?
AIYORRR
又要伤脑经了啦!!
ERRRRRRMMMM
就祝她身体健康,天天开心吧!!
我是真心希望她可以天天都开心,那么他就可以感受到妈妈的温暖了。。。
有那里几个妈妈是不爱自己孩子的呢 ??

她将会收到一张匿名的卡片
因为我不会写上寄信人的名字
就让她当作是上天送来的祝福吧
我想如无意外我每一年都会寄母亲节卡片给她的
她无缘成为我母亲,我也希望她开心。。。。。。

至于我家呢???
今年多了一个妈妈哦!
那就是我外婆啦!
老实一点说。。。
我对我外婆的感情真的没怎么样叻><
听起来很坏吧??也许我从小到大都没好好与她沟通的因素吧。。。
不管怎样,
她还是我外婆嘛,而却现在又住在我家wor
我也应该尽一分孝心的
在我赶回KL前,
我买了康乃馨给我妈妈和外婆哦!
还来得及拍了一些照。。XIXI
妈妈
LOVE YOU LA......muackssss





Thursday, May 5, 2011

say goodbye CASA SUBANG!!!

lol
i m gonna leaving tis scary place 2mr
鸟不有生蛋的地方><
 but but but
I still feel bu se de leh
y leh hor???hehe..myself aso dunno dunno lo

I think is because of mydin and the fresh market here
Futhermore Sun U apartment dun allow us to cook leh!!
How can???!!!
I love cooking and I sure I m a good housewife in the future^^
Ishhhh
no matter how I still will curi-curi cook de lo
HAHHAAHA

I bu se de my roomate too...T.T
I guess I m gonna think of her everynight before I sleep 
She is good funny cute and sometimes quite insane (sorry to say tat SOO YEE )hehe
She said she gonna miss me too but i duno weather is true or not lo
I m easily cheated by someone de ma...........
ANYWAY
I still choose to believe that she will miss me..hahhaa...(stupid me)

AND hor
the worst thing in Sun U apartment is I cant hang out till midnight already
everyday have to be in house b4 12am unless friday and saturday
Is truly a bad new for me 
I m a nightkid.......

Oops
forget to let u all noe tat my new unit is at 5th floor and yet dun hv lift><
i have to climb up to 5th floor everyday
SHIT
i think i gonna lose weight again==

AIYAAAAAA
I worry until cant sleep le now..how o??
HELPPPPPP



咖啡与酒的生活


最近很奇怪的,咖啡与酒进入了我的生活
真的很奇怪,我原本是是个anti咖啡的人,就算有人拿枪逼我喝,我也会想很久吧?
可是现在不管到cafe还是foodcourt还是mamak,我都会点咖啡来喝,好像addicted了叻
惨了啦,喝咖啡会变黑的叻,我都已经够黑了咯><
牙齿还会变黄黄叻。。。。

而酒呢??
我以前是不会抗拒啦,可是没有什么特别日子或去bar玩,我还是不会乱乱喝酒的咯
可是现在呢?
我好像alternate day都会喝酒叻
喝酒会变肥婆的叻><
还很贵一下的咯
每次等人请都不好意思啦@@

我知道酒与咖啡都对人体有害,可是我不懂做么对它们无法抗拒了咯
被它们深深地吸引着
咖啡与酒有那种迷人的苦涩味,让我一口接一口地享用
我爱上了那苦涩的味道
它很像我对他的爱与思念。。。。。。。。



Wednesday, May 4, 2011

T.T


27/4/2010

Actually this few days i m quite happy
at least i can smile and joke to people around me
i guess i m be alrite soon

BUT
I dunno y I m feeling down at this movement
after i back from posting today I feel very tired and  I wish i can sleep like pig straight away
BUT TOO BAD CANT
I dowan make myself sick sleep all the germs from hospital, I must bath first before I climb up to my bed and sleep with my lovely bei bei

After i finish bathing my roomate come back le
I m happy at least got somebody to accompany me and i wont feel so lonely

BUT AGAIN
she tell me she is going out after she bath.....aiks...

suan le ba..I better go and prepare dinner for me and jing xuan to divert my attention
I prepare all the ingredients happily..i found my passion in cooking..^^
he cross my mind again..I remember I promised him to learn a dish which he love on our valentine celebration
if I  start to learn now...will him still want to taste it???

Because of my tiredness,I left the soup boiling and i went to have a nap
After one hour I wake up and smell unpleasant smell
OMG my carrot soup hangus d...I was like ......so disappointed..I tot I can have a wonderful dinner with jing xuan to9 because I cook the soup with lots of passion...TT

At the same time, jing xuan sms me and say she dowan to have dinner with me already
I guess she dunno tat I already start preparing and my soup hangus ad
I was so down but i still reply her never mind la......actually i m SO SAD!!

I throw away the hangus soup and keep all the ingredients back in the freeze
I dunno why the life without u is like so tough for me
I cant do everything smoothly

Without yr hug as encouragement I dunno how to move on
I close myself in my room and start to EMO...
I noe u hate seeing me emo but forgive me please I feel so down suddenly><
I went to read yr fb post and blog again again and again......

I MISS YOU
I know you are better off without me
I know you are enjoying yr single life everyday
I also know sometimes you will think off me still
But you are truly letting it go
I really dunno shud I happy or sad everytime  I read something about me in yr blog

Happpy because you think of me still??
Sad because it make me feel I cant letting it go???
I m confused...

You were ignoring me when I trying hard to hold our relationship
And the way you ignore me was like damm CRUEL??
Those words u said to me I still can remember although i already delete all those messages
You totally change into a stranger now
I dunno anything about u now
What I can do is just read yr blog everyday to noe more about u...

There is no turning back for U
And there is no road for me to move on now
I m still living in the past which make me hate myself so much

Is hard for me to forgot all the things I have done with u and yet u came to my dream almost everyday
It makes me feel so sad everyday in the morning
How good if our brain have a DELETE button ><
we can delete everything which harm ourself ^^
then our life would be happier
however there is a word BUT in tis world
everything go on smoothly but in the end aso will change....CORRECT?
the God wont be so kind to us..
God want us to learn in failure and lead us to a brighter future...<3